You can skip this cause it ain't gonna be entertaining.

Today, after browsing thru everyone's blog made me realize that.. I'm always at the very bottomest and some of it, I wasn't even there. They can't even remember. People I know is getting together now and it's a really good thing. They all have been waiting for this moment a very long time I guess, and now, I'm the one who's falling apart. My whole life not thinking about this kind of thing that can haunt me every time when I see them happy. Everything that has happened made me understand that I can never have a best friend because there's no such thing well, in mine that is. I only will have a good/close friend but not a best friend.

Definition for best friend,

"Someone who is always there for you. Sometimes they have words of encouragement and sometimes they tell you what you don't want to hear. But it's all done in love. Someone to help pick up when you fall and laugh with you when you are happy. One that will be there for you, when you have down days, as well as up days."

Friend 1
- She said I'm her best friend, but she treat's another friend of her's like as if she's the queen. She can do anything for her another friend but when I ask her to help me, she'll just either says no or she'll just give excuses. What a best friend, huh?

Friend 2
- She has alot of friends, she once said she hate some of them but now they're all top of me. She also once said she feels like I'm the only best friend she had. Everytime I try to have a convo with her at somewhere, and she sees her other more important friends of her's coming, she'll just run to them and then after that she just stays with all of them and not coming back.

Friend 3
- I don' t think she even remember's me as her best friend now. That makes me I was once her best friend then? She still come and tell me stuff that she thinks is bothering her but, I didn't even say anything. And everything is like as if I didn't helped her or something?

Friend 4
- She's back with her old friends already ever since that day and I'm really happy for her, really.. Whenever we see each other, we would only greet or just by asking how have we've been.

Friend 5
- I have no idea if you're still even my friend or whatever but you keeping secrets from yer best friends is just gonna make me and her hate you more. You're making yerself like as if me and her is leaving you alone. Do you feel happy like that?


The point is I need another fresh start. Not in my school, not in Brunei but in another place, another country where I can let go every sad'ness in me :) NONE of you care if I was sad or getting left out. All you guys can see in me is Happy'ness? If you think someone who's hyper is always happy, think again nab nab. Letting it out feels gooood 8) How sad of person who doesn't has anyone to care for them. Every of my "best friends" has the same opinion on me when I talk to them. I can see them saying "she's a boring person". Not only the 5 person there, there's still lots more but I don't wanna type more of them. Thinking of them would only make me angry. I should brag more in my blog and then make it private so then everyone would think that I'm so happy and sad free, isn't that great? Pftt, its actually pointless typing so much since no one cares anymore.

Cause nothing really happened to the way its planned.

I feel like a boob.
A boob that got thrown away by all her best friends.
I'm such a boob.
So stupid~